Holiday NEWS: !!!Burnout!!! (Meditation + Holiday Sale!)
Burnout occurs when we’re not open to allowing, receiving, surrendering, and trusting. Instead, we force, drag, hustle, and push our way through life, fretting and forgetting that we can take the foot off the pedal and enjoy the scenery, because there’s more to life than just…more.
So many of us believe we have to control things or do it all, and it’s exhausting. Especially during the holiday season!
Letting go: Burnout is also not willing to let go of things that may not be in your best interest.
This is about self-trust- knowing what’s worth your time, love, and energy, and choosing some things while letting go of others. Wisdom is knowing the difference. If you’re feeling constricted, chances are you’re doing too much of what’s not worth your time or energy. If it feels expansive then that’s a better indicator of what to go for!
Open to Receiving: Part of quitting perpetual doing, is learning to receive more.
My constant affirmation: “I am open to receiving”. I started approaching much of my life this way, including relationships.
To some of my draining relationships, I literally said, “I’m open to receiving…” (whatever it was I wanted from them). How freeing!
The real test for receiving is… How do you take a compliment? Does it make you uncomfortable? If you can’t thoroughly and graciously enjoy a compliment, and it makes you feel a little uneasy, how do you expect to be open to receiving anything else?
It boils down to, What are you willing to let go? And what are you open to receiving?
Physical, mental and energetic boundaries: Maybe we feel responsible for something as subtle as the mood of the room, how someone feels about us, the way things work out or don’t work out (for us and the ones we care about), maybe you have an entire company, or family, riding on your back, and you’re carrying far too much burden for one person. We can think that everything we do, or how much we do, is (mistakenly) connected to who we are.
This is due to how we received or tried to gain love and attention as a child. In burnout, it’s not uncommon to see this persistent subconscious pattern of giving and doing like our life depends on it. Beginning with self-awareness, think back to how you received love or how you got the attention of the ones you loved as a child.
The opinions of others won’t kill us, but burnout and stress can.
It’s for a good cause: The martyrs… It’s so important to pause and ask why you’re doing what you’re doing. It’s not entirely about doing less, but realizing why you’re doing the things you’re doing. On that note, many people who experience burnout, have terrific reasons for doing the things they do!
You may be overdoing it for a good cause. However, most likely the one who needs saved is you. I see this often- people who give what they actually need themselves.
Survival mode: Burnout can be a subconscious pattern like survival mode.
We get so used to doing the things we’ve always done that we don’t realize the steep price tag of resentment, worsening health, or the lack of impact these things actually have.
This goes back to a childhood aspect of yourself that felt like perhaps you had to do more or be more in a way, to help your caregivers/parents. As a child, survival depends on your parents being OK and if you felt responsible for the caregiver’s emotions, mood, behavior, or actions then you were probably willing to take on too much at an early age.
Since the root can be connected to survival, the temptation to over-anything to the point of burnout is rooted deep. It’s almost as stressful and tortuous to NOT do too much.
This style of “survival” paradoxically kills.
While there are many signs of burnout from physical to mental exhaustion, I found some specific signs for most people are:
- Difficulty focusing (scatter brain or brain fog).
- Difficulty settling into sleep or staying asleep. Lack of sleep is often the first one to show up for many people.
- Chronic or new health issues.
- Resentment or anger under the surface when you do something.
- Most meals are rushed or convenient or stimulating (sugar, caffeine) food.
- Passive-aggressive behaviors.
- Unequal relationships.
- More “have-to’s” than “want-to’s”
- Enabling those you care about- doing too much for them.
If addressing the signs and patterns of behavior doesn’t help, then it’s necessary to get to the root (or heart) of the matter. Sometimes you can work on changing the behaviors like setting boundaries, but other times, knowing why you get to the point of burnout is beneficial.
Mine was connected to codependency. For one client, it was low self-esteem. For another it was fear.
You have to ask, “Why do I feel the need to do this…?” “What am I hoping to get from this?” “What do I really want?”
Throughout the day, I consistently ask myself: What do I want right now? What do I need right now? Moment to moment, checking in with myself.
And even if you can’t give yourself exactly what you want and need, at least you’re acknowledging it, or finding another way to fill the need.
More questions to ask if you’re regularly feeling burnout:
What is it like for you to receive?
What is it like to let go?
Does the idea of receiving make you feel vulnerable? Why?
Does letting go bring up fears or anxiety? Why?
[Download this free Therapeutic Self-Awareness Journal]
Let’s wrap up the topic on burn out… Recently, I commented on a post in a Facebook group- the woman was frantic and in over her head dealing with her narcissistic mother. Clearly she was burnt out. She asked how others managed their narcissistic parents. I said I stopped doing things for them, especially if it puts me in a bind or takes way from my mental or physical health. She was upset that I even suggested it be that simple.
Burn-out is tricky- it makes us think we’re the center of the universe, not just for ourselves but for others too. It’s like drinking poison with a 50/50 chance of becoming powerful or death by poison. Who even wants those odds?
And realize, other people will keep us busy with their needs.
What would happen if we just stopped? I was curious so this is what I did. It was like nails on chalkboard watching things fall through the cracks, but after about a month, others around me started to take more responsibility and get resourceful. They didn’t take my contribution for granted either.
It IS simple, just not easy at first. But then again, how easy is it to keep doing it all? 🙂
I worked with several beautiful clients this last year through burnout, codependency, people-pleasing, over-achievers, and Type A’s. I taught a class on this to professionals, led them through meaningful hypnotic journeys, and brought passion and purpose back into their lives.
Actually, they did it! I just led them to the water. I introduced them to their own inner resources.
[Sessions and services on sale through the holidays. [Sessions and services]
My gift to you: Please enjoy this Red Rock Desert meditation for stress relief and letting go as you head into the New Year.
Or listen here:
Enjoy your holidays and here’s to your health and happiness in 2022!
See you in 2022! I have a special Abundance and Good Fortune Meditation Jan. 1!
Peace and Be Well,